Tuesday, September 10, 2013
I wish it would rain...
So I've been thinking of starting a blog for a while now. I want it to be about difficulties, tips and tricks, and devotionals on being a Christian mom in today's world. I've called it "Mom Enough" because this has become a popular phase in today's culture to describe pretty much anything except raising Godly kids, but I would like to use it for just that purpose. Raising Godly kids is hard but I want all my fellow mamas to know that they are indeed "Mom Enough!"
That being said this first blog is more to deal with the current issue in my life and to hopefully bring some much needed REALLY honest conversation to light. So here it goes...
YES I had a miscarriage on Saturday, YES I am sad about it, YES I am disappointed, YES I cry sometimes, but I have not stopped being Tammy. Here is where the tough love part comes in. See when someone goes through something sad and difficult, other people around them seem to all of a sudden go berserk! (How many times do we whisper the word cancer or anything else negative?) I have seen so many people in the last few days duck and cover because they are desperately trying to avoid the awkward conversation. So for the record I would like to put everyone's mind at ease and say a few things:
If you don't know what to say that's ok! If you know me at all you know I am the queen of not knowing what to say in a bad situation. I am still the same girl you knew last week, and we can talk about anything we talked about before. I still love Ranger baseball and Sooner football, I still cross stitch, and play silly games on my phone, and of course as always I still love food; talking about it or eating it! So here is where I'm going to ask you to throw the old "If you can't say anything nice.." phrase out the window. I still need friends and I still love to talk about all kinds of things so please don't avoid me for two months just because you don't know what to say.
If you are afraid to say the wrong thing that's ok too! Guess what?? You probably will! You would be shocked about the tiny things that have made me sad this week. The _ + _ = 4 is still written in chalk on the driveway from where we had taken our new family photo. I sure do wish it would rain and wash that away, but it hasn't and that's ok and it will be ok if you say something to hurt my feelings. If your heart is in the right place I can see that and I will get over it! I will just be glad that you said something! I have cried and will cry, probably a lot, and that's ok. Crying over it won’t make it clean but sometimes it just feels good to let it out.
Lastly thank you to all of the many who have already done this, and to all of you who have been praying for me and loving on me. This is hard, but God is still good. I cannot say how much I cherish all of my friendships you all bless me so much every day!!